Weekly Courage Challenge #2
Get to Know Your Minor Personalities
Courage Challenge Action Items:
- ARTICLE: read below about Internal Family System (or read this more robust article here).
- PODCAST: listen to the founder of I.F.S., Richard Schwartz, interviewed by Tim Ferriss.
- CHALLENGE: draw, sketch, journal and/or download images from the internet capturing your inner personality parts from each category (exiles, protectors, fire fighters). Share with me or post below in the comment section.
Let’s Dive In
During a coaching session, we sometimes structure our conversation using a therapy framework called I.F.S. (Internal Family Systems).
Summary of the Technique
Think of yourself as a singular being made up of a multitude of personalities. Those personalities within you function together much like a family. Like a family, each individual responds and relates to one another in patterned ways which Richard Schwartz, the founder of I.F.S., categorizes into three distinct behaviors: the exiles, the protectors, and the firefighters.
The “exiled” personalities encompass the wounded, traumatized parts of ourselves, frozen and locked away deep within. The parts of ourselves that manage and protect the exiles, Schwartz calls the “protectors.” The protector personalities manage and control much of our lives in order to keep our emotional, physical, and mental systems from uncomfortable feelings and past trauma. When the protectors become overwhelmed, flooded, or triggered by the repressed exiles, the firefighters come to the rescue to douse the flames, drown out the pain, subvert those uncomfortable feelings with binging, distraction, disconnection, depression, low energy, and, at its most extreme form, self harm.
If you like to learn more about the evolution of the practice and the basic tenets of the theory (great read and well worth your time), follow this link:
How it Helped Me
This system helped me from misidentifying myself with my emotions. For example, if I felt angry, I WAS angry. If I felt jealous, I WAS jealous. If I felt shame, I WAS shame. The I.F.S. approach helped me to create space between how I felt, who I am, and why I felt those feelings.
I find it incredibly transformative to recognize my unique internal personalities, give them names, physical characteristics, clothing, voices and emotions. The richer the details of my minor characters, the more my interaction with them produces greater insight into my behavior and my inner knowing.
Once I stopped becoming my feelings, I could interact with my feelings, get curious about my feelings, and feel them through to completion. Often, emotions like anger usually protect me from heavier emotions like sadness and shame. Underneath those emotions, I find exiled parts of me yearning to complete and heal trauma.
The Challenge
This week’s challenge is to get to know your pieces. Close your eyes, listen for the voices inside your head, your body, around your heart. Give those voices the space to speak, the light to be seen. Explore within yourself and identify one or two characters from each category of parts: exiled, protectors, firefighters. I found it helpful going on the internet and finding images that resembled how each of my characters felt and looked like. Feel free to draw, sketch, visualize, or journal about your internal parts.
Listen to This Podcast
To inject a little inspiration into this challenge, listen to Tim Ferriss’ interview with Richard Schwartz, episode #492. Not only do you hear Dr. Schwartz describe I.F.S. therapy, you also get to hear a live demonstration of the practice on Tim.
Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts (#492)
David’s Inner Family
*Note, the personalities I identify below only represent a few of my parts. These are the first personalities of myself that I met, those that broke me wide open and allowed for me to witness and feel my repressed feelings. These personalities helped me out of my cave of darkness and into the light.
Hellboy David
Hellboy, also known as Rage Monster, comes out when I’m angry, enraged, mad, seeking revenge, desiring to feel pain or inflict pain, scanning my environment for threats. He tells me that below the anger resides sadness, sadness often associated with something in my past that I didn’t deal with yet.
Swamp Creature David
Swamp Creature David comes out when I’m tired, disconnected, sluggish, sleepy. He tells me that I’m overwhelmed or scared or not living congruently. In his presence, I get curious about my fatigue and begin interacting with it’s felt sense. I used to fight him with caffeine, napping, or neglect.
Jet Fighter Pilot David
The Jet Fighter lives in the front of my brain, just outside of my thoughts, like a cockpit in front of the noisy jet engines behind him. He’s cool, capable, and confident. When the shit hits the fan, he knows what to do. He’s not one for sentiment. He is my man of action!
Little D
He’s my six year old self, lunch box in hand, getting on the school bus for his first day of school. That little boy encountered teasing, bullying, and disassociating from himself. He sustained the first psychological injuries. He’s my exile, the one the protectors and firefighters try to protect. [No picture… I couldn’t locate the picture of me getting on the bus in time for this article.]
Warrior Protector David
One of the most complex characters within the internal family system. He’s the mature masculine energy, my yang energy, my man of deep knowing, shamanic insight, divine action. He calls me forward into the full power of myself. I met him in the canyon walls of the Grand Canyon in 2019. He serves the feminine yin energy by being his full masculine energy.
